Lets Speak English (Английский клуб) Part 2

[vengeance]

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie.

"As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes," said the genie, "But understand, whatever you wish for, your most hated enemy shall receive twice over."

The man's most hated enemy happened to be his next door neighbour, Jones. "Let's see. My first wish is..." He looked at his weather beaten bungalow, "...to live in a ten story luxury mansion."

The genie clapped his hands and suddenly his minute shack transformed into the most beautiful house he had ever laid eyes on. He heard a cry of astonishment from next door and looked over to see Jones standing in the doorway of his new twenty story mansion.

"Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women imaginable." said the man. There was a puff of smoke and his wish was granted. He was annoyed, however, to see Jones grinning and waving, surrounded by his own harem of 100 women, all twice as attractive.

"What is your final wish, Master?" asked the genie".

"I want to lose a testicle," replied the man.

[tempt4]

hey guys! Is there any site where I could get english jokes?

[vengeance]

There are dozens for sure. Try this for starters.

[tempt4]

thanks dude!

[vengeance]

Advice On Life From Kids


"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? don't answer." Hannah, 9

"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." Michael, 14

"Stay away from prunes." Randy, 9

"Never pee on an electric fence." Robert, 13

"Don't squat with your spurs on." Noronha, 13

"Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, 10

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." Taylia,11

"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." Traci, 14

"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers." Mitchell,12

"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, 9

"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, 9

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, 12

"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." Joel,10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." Alyesha, 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." Eileen, 8

[alameda]

vengeance,
I love your signature!!! lol

[Defa]

It was a good a attempt to start tаlking here in English, but unfortunatly the branch has faded. Pity!

[Wise]

Let's talk what you like!

Now I watch serial about Doctor House(House M.D.) so I like that jerk
Does anybody like him?

[bachan]

Сообщение от Wise

Now I watch serial about Doctor House(House M.D.) so I like that jerk
Does anybody like him?

he himself is fine.
his fans are creeping me out.
suddenly, every silly little creature has got a_friend_just_like_house.
disgusting.

[name777]

I can't wait for this fall. New seasons of Heroes, Lost, Prison Break, 24, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Bionic Woman, Eli Stone... You can guess I'm a Sci-Fi freak